I’ve been a part of relationships that I only heard from some people if I was reaching out to the other person. There have been others that I only heard from when they wanted something. It was insulting and saddening. I hated being a part of lop-sided friendships. Truth be told, I have a lot of growing to do in accepting change and walking in perpetual love.

I approached 2020 with the decision to no longer put effort into relationships that were upheld solely by my own efforts. It sounds good, but my said experience taught me that people only match a person's “energy” because they're hurt or to avoid being hurt. Sometime after my “2020 decision,” a sister-friend’s minimal effort dropped to nonexistent. Hindsight 20/20, my feelings were hurt and I felt rejected. I’ve learned that it takes more effort and emotional energy to match theirs than to actually rectify the problem and move on. It’s just not healthy. Here’s what I concluded: If you miss someone, tell them. If they’ve hurt you, tell them. Use the energy to forgive instead of returning the favor if you can’t express yourself. 

I was led to read 1 John. The chapters focus on both horizontal and vertical relationships. Horizontal relationships are how we relate to each other as human beings; the vertical relationship is how we relate to God. Based on the reading, it is impossible to have a vertical relationship if we do not walk in love horizontally. The first chapter, 1 John 1:7, which really caught my attention, goes as far in the Amplified version to say 

“But if we [really] are living and walking in the Light, as He [Himself] is in the Light, we have [true, unbroken] fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses (removes) us from all sin and guilt [keeps us cleansed from sin in all its forms and manifestations].(Italics added for emphasis.)”

This was a moment of truth and a legit heart check for me. My heart’s mind went beyond considering the unbroken fellowship; I realized that it was ungodly to match someone’s energy in this context. It’s a notion that was created by and should therefore remain applicable only by the world. My new challenge is to protect the peace that comes from the manifestation of the spirit of God in my life by using godly principles. Everything that has a catchy sound isn’t for [us as] believers. Finally, God has revealed to me quite plainly that we relinquish our right to hold grudges when we accept him. He forgave us, we forgive others. It’s just that simple. Our vertical relationships (with God) are significantly impacted by our horizontal ones (with others).

So, here’s my final thought: matching another person’s energy to gratify my feelings simply isn’t worth disrupting my walk with the One that counts.

Thanks for reading.

Sincerely,
Marisha