An Open Letter to the Church Hurt

I’ve encountered a lot of people in my lifetime. People with different religious beliefs and preferences. Some people are believers involved in church communities, and some prefer not to be a part of church communities. I’m big on communication and conversation, so I ask some people why they don’t attend church. Obviously, their responses vary. Some of the responses I've received have ranged from believing that "the church" is all about money, to viewing it as full of hypocrisy, to simply having no desire for church community. My thoughts regarding church are so vast that it’s difficult to even form my concerns and thoughts for this piece. I wanted to begin with an open letter to the “church” hurt. Sometimes I want to defend the church. Sometimes I want to acknowledge people’s feelings and experiences. Invalidating someone’s feelings can sometimes be the gravest insult. So I’ll merge the notion of the open letter to the “church hurt” with my concept of things that I wish people considered about church. Some people see things in black and white. I understand that some principles of Christian living must be black and white or hot and cold. But I also believe that two things can be true at once. So, I’ll start with an open letter, and the next piece will be things I wish people considered about the church.

To the one whom God loves:

Churches were never intended to be treated as secret societies, cults, country clubs, or any other sector that does not reflect the heart of God. The purpose of the church was for believers to gather to be strengthened, encouraged, and healed. Believers should represent Christ well, bring others to Christ, and help their journey with Him. Truthfully, I’m still learning about the role of churches in communities. I know that historically, church, the Bible, and Christianity have been used to suppress, oppress, and a number of other things that were not God. I can acknowledge this as a believer. I know that there are God-knows-how-many people who have been hurt attending churches. I know that people have been physically abused; people have been a part of ministries in which physical violence has ensued. I know that people have been molested, raped, and manipulated into sexual acts; I know that people’s resources have been taken; some people have been made to believe that their value in the kingdom or to God is measured by what they pay or offer; I know that families have suffered because of their dedication to areas of ministry that created imbalances and stressors in their homes; I know that power has been abused, causing some people with titles to develop God-like complexes. I know that doctrine has been misinterpreted; I know that people have been humiliated; I know that people have been ostracized; I also know that you have seen contradictions. It's a lot. I know. Things have happened for various reasons.

Sometimes people misrepresented their relationship with God. Sometimes people misunderstood scripture. Sometimes spiritual immaturity played a role. Regardless of the reason, the harm was real. As a disciple and representative of the Lord, Jesus Christ, I am sincerely sorry that you have been hurt. If you were abused, manipulated, exploited, or mistreated in any way in the name of God, what happened to you was wrong. I hope and pray that you heal from the pain and, in some cases, devastation that you have experienced.

I want you to know that every believer is in a different place in their relationship with God, and not everyone is a hypocrite or blood-thirsty wolf looking to take advantage of people. I understand why some people withdraw after being hurt. However, I hope you do not allow the pain you experienced to keep you from healing, trusting God, or experiencing healthy community again.

Most of all, God wants you to know that He loves you regardless, and He wants you whole. He wants you in a place in your life that you can embrace His love, submit to His Lordship, and reflect His kingdom on Earth. I’m just one person. You may never encounter the person or people who have hurt you again. Please just know that no pain is worth your relationship with God. I encourage you to pray, heal, and ask God for direction in your life. Your relationship with Him matters more than anything or anyone else.