Before the Black community knew that trauma, Depression, or anxiety had a name, there was an answer to all our problems: the answer was Jesus. Public tears were often mistaken for weakness. Silence was golden and a sure sign of [mandatory] resilience. People have taken family secrets and trauma to the grave because that’s what they did. It’s what we do. Generations of substance abuse and unexplained anger can be linked to unaddressed emotion or experiences.

I was a Christian before I was ever a therapist. Now I’m both. But the Biblical stance trumps the DSM. I've seen a spectrum of response to Mental Health Treatment in the Black Christian Church: either Depression doesn’t exist; prayer is the only answer; or a whole bunch of psychology. I can’t say that my view falls anywhere on the spectrum. I’ve noticed within my own life how much better I’ve felt after I released some things bothering me. It started with Beauty for Ashes.

I’ve been involved in the mental health field for some time.  I’m no veteran but I’ve seen some interesting things and heard disturbing/troubling scenarios. To establish balance I’ve consulted the word. Here’s what I’ve come up with:

1. Talking about issues helps relieve internal pressure (James 5:16).  James instructs us to confess our sins and pray for one another for healing. Sin and trauma are completely different but I believe there’s relevance to discussing what’s inside and asking God to heal us.

2. A great deal of internal struggles happen in and begin with the mind: (2 Cor. 10:3-5). What we think and meditate on govern our responses and emotions. Thinking and re-thinking the “right” things can be a matter of negative vs constructive thoughts. Check out Philippians 4.  

Even as a clinician I’ve noticed that therapy alone can sometimes be a bandage on a gunshot wound. There is some deliverance that can only be done by God e.g. psychosis. Psychosis can be treated with therapy and medication but it cannot be cured by it. Psychosis returns without treatment. Hence the need for a higher power-Jesus.

Bringing it in…

I don’t believe there’s anything wrong with therapy but at no point should it be used in lieu of seeking God for deliverance. Talk it out but depend on Him to provide your healing, strength, and continued recovery.

Sincerely,
Risha

I recently noticed [another] massive difference between God and I. It was alarming because  I’ve found it to be one of the pillars in our relationship: He is black and white. I have gray areas. So words like “all” or “total” haven’t always meant “all” or “total” to me.

Proverbs 3:5-7 is quoted often. Here I’d like to reference the latter portion of the scripture: “Acknowledge Him in all your ways and He will direct your path.” Truthfully, I’d never seen a time that I applied “all my ways” in the context of this scripture. It seems like I categorized what I should seek Him for. My rationale varied from situation-to-situation. Some situations seemed too “little” to consult Him about-petty matters if you will. Other times I feared what His response would be; if it wasn’t one of those, I just didn’t want to because I wanted what I wanted.

When God says to acknowledge Him in all our ways, that’s what He means. He doesn’t specify a time that He will not direct our path. “All” means with difficult choices, times that seem minor, times we don’t know what we should do, or even times that we feel like we would rather not. God doesn’t change. So “all” also means “all” when He says that He will supply all of our needs; or that we should love or trust Him with all our heart. It means He really has our best interest in mind when He wishes above all things that we prosper and be in good health...God wants to be involved in every area of our lives. What’s important to us as His children is important to Him as our father. He dealings with us involve “all” from beginning to end. Which explains why He would rather us be hot or cold- He wants all of us. 

When it comes to God, all means every. All means total. All means entire(ty). In order to obey His word from the position of “all,” all may also mean discipline; or trusting; or submission; or sacrifice; or humility. Whatever it means for you, do what it takes for all of God’s promises to be unlocked, all of His plans to be carried out, and all that He has for you to be obtainable.

 Create a pattern of “all” with God and watch what happens next!

Grace and peace,
Risha

Memes about a hairstyle that a client asked for versus what the stylist did crack me up. I’m not sure if this is good or bad. Recently I was chuckling about a meme when I realized something: God can relate to the disappointment and frustration of the clients that post the epic fails. These clients were hoping to be satisfied with what they asked for. There was an image or design they had in mind that wasn’t delivered.

As I consider this concept closely I think of times that I’ve sat in a chair or two and was spun around less than satisfied with what the stylist did to my hair. I was frustrated because I showed a picture-more than one knowing me, and was guaranteed by the stylist that they could do it. Ultimately, I was frustrated because I felt like I was lied to, used-assured just so that I would give them my hard-earned money, and completely fooled. Interestingly enough, I can recall a couple of stylists that were proud of their work for whatever reason. Maybe they felt that they should have gotten an “A for effort.”

Imagine how God must feel when He asks for things like obedience, faith, consistency, love, growth, holiness, etc. but gets things less than satisfactory like Plan B’s, riding the fence, overriding the Holy Spirit, broken promises, and so on. How about when we don’t do what He tells us but still pride ourselves and expect the A for effort? Granted He’s our father and knows that we will fall short, we should still purpose in our hearts to please Him. The content and intentions of our heart are everything!

Grace and peace,

Risha

I saw a facebook memory recently.  It was a post announcing that I would be releasing my first book.  My mind “timehopped” to how I felt when I posted the cover art for the project. I was literally nauseous. Not that I find one type of nausea more enjoyable than another but, this was a terrifying feeling. I posted the cover art as a form of accountability for myself to eliminate cold feet.  From there I continued the final writing stages and I spoke to God rather frequently regarding preparing my heart and the hearts of the readers. I wouldn’t dare try to front like there wasn’t any excitement in the mix because there was some of that too.

Even as I write there are so many memories flashing that it’s hard to decide which I should describe next. I’ll begin with the process. I was writing the book towards the end of 2015 but got distracted. Once the distraction was gone I put all of my energy and focus into finishing the book.  I was done with everything around April/ Mayish. After that, I submitted it to Ms. Green and we began to talk about book sizes, the number of pages, what I would need… the “logistics,” if you will.  A while later she sent me a screenshot of the anticipated delivery date and the countdown began.  I got home from work the evening they arrived and slid my box into the house. I sat the box in my thinking chair and walked the floor for a couple of seconds. I opened it and there they were: incarnations of my vision, dreams, nightmares, and testament. I was numb-in a good kind of way. It’s like a shock wave came over me. Once I collected my thoughts, I thanked the Most High, laid hands on the box, and prayed for the readers and path of those books.

I began working on getting the pre-orders out and pubbing online.  I think my first post regarding the book was something like… “so these came in the mail today.” Not long after that I had a book launch party. I joke with myself as I look back at the pictures from that event because that was the day I forgot I had a gap. And then life resumed. My indignation was tried and hard times revisited.  Ultimately I learned that convictions are great but they only really exist when we follow through with them. I saw times that I challenged women to know their worth and couldn’t calculate my own. I found that forgiving has challenges of it’s own; I realized the idolatry was more pressing for me in other forms that sleeping. The craziest thing I learned is that every wound seems healed until it’s pressed. I have more soft spots than I knew.

Nearly 1 year later, Beauty for Ashes has been published and I’m still making trades with God… still seeking healing, still seeking growth, and still seeking his redemption.  I’ve come to see that beauty for ashes is not just a one time thing in my life. The exchange of beauty for ashes is constant. It just happens at different times for different reasons. Making a spectacle of one’s self is not easy. Transparency has its risks. Submission to God is no cake walk. But I’m here for it.  

Peace,
Risha

Depression is something else! It's something that many people have wrestled with at some point. Either past or present. There are some who are unaware that they are or have been depressed. There are others who are in denial. I’ve heard some argue that they don’t get Depressed. My interpretation of such is that they may not necessarily know what they've experienced; however, I believe everyone encounters Depression at some point in their life.  Depression tends to have a negative connotation within some cultures. Thus, some people are reluctant to share their experiences.

There are several signs of Depression. It can be an isolated incident or a recurrent one.  It can be for a short period of time or over an extended period. It ranges in severity. Some of the symptoms include: feelings of loss/emptiness/sadness/worthlessness/excessive guilt, loss of interest/motivation, a change in sleep pattern-either excessive sleeping or the lack thereof, a change in appetite-either overeating or no desire to, fatigue or loss of energy, difficulty concentrating or making decisions, continued thoughts of death of feeling that one would be “better off” dead. The symptoms can be experienced in a combination of ways.

The good news is Depression doesn’t have to be long-term or recurring. It’s a matter of thinking and will power. A person has to be willing to get past Depression and not be victim to it.  They also have to change their way of thinking. Negative thinking is a sure way of landing in the cesspool of Depression which, by the way, sometimes does not just stop at a "feeling." 

Take a look at a few life hacks for Depression:

• Positive thinking-thought life is E V E R Y T H I N G! Thinking on the good things in life improves your mood and overall outlook

• Positive expression-finding a way to communicate thoughts and feelings in a healthy manner; releasing feelings opposed to suppressing them (my favorite is art-written, visual, and audio)

• A solid confidant- “one good person” you can talk to with confidence in their ability to keep secrecy (and possibly provide sound insight)

• Guard your heart! Be leery of negativity and do not allow yourself to be around it.

These are just a few hacks. There are countless others. Find one (two, or three) that work(s) for you and start your process with kicking Depression!