I was meditating on my problems the other day. Yes- I was deep in thought about the challenges I was facing that needed God’s intervention. As the meditation became a conversation with God, I began to tell Him about the needs that I had and how I needed Him to “make some things happen” because I was not able to. I even went as far as telling Him about the things that I didn’t think I could do because I didn’t have what I needed to move forward. God didn’t address any of the things that I said I didn’t have or couldn’t do.
Read MoreI recently noticed [another] massive difference between God and I. It was alarming because I’ve found it to be one of the pillars in our relationship: He is black and white. I have gray areas. So words like “all” or “total” haven’t always meant “all” or “total” to me.
I went on my third mission trip. I’ve been back in the U.S. for a little over a week now. My body is recouping from an 8-hour time change, jet lag, and returning to work the very next morning after my arrival. I should probably be careful how I word all of the above to make sure that I don’t seem grieved by the process. Truth is, I’d do it all over again. It’s beautiful because I feel that way about every mission trip that I’ve taken. I mentioned in an earlier post that I wanted to be a missionary when I was an adolescent. The notion of it seemed so far-fetched in my own mind. God has proven that it wasn’t far-fetched in His.
This trip was comprised of a 3-city tour: Nairobi, Eldoret, and Matunda. Every area offered a different experience and required something different of me. I’m a social worker so I take things in differently. I’m huge on culture and always eager to learn how others live: the language, the decorum, the fashion, music, food, etc. Nairobi is the capital of Kenya. That was the first destination:
Read MoreI remember when I first began listening for the voice of God. I was hoping for something audible. Something undeniable; the still small voice, I felt, was too easy to be confused with my own thinking. Recognizing the voice of God was often an episode for me because my mind would expand into this adventure map that led nowhere: “What if that’s just my thoughts? What if that really was God? I think that was just my mind…. But my mind wouldn’t think anything like that. It must be God because I wasn’t even thinking about that topic! What if I’m too late? Why do I feel sweat beads?” The conclusion was usually “I don’t think that was God. I’m good.” Or “I’m going to need some confirmation.”
At one time, it was grievous to ask a believer for advice and be advised to pray about it.
Read MoreI saw a facebook memory recently. It was a post announcing that I would be releasing my first book. My mind “timehopped” to how I felt when I posted the cover art for the project. I was literally nauseous. Not that I find one type of nausea more enjoyable than another but, this was a terrifying feeling. I posted the cover art as a form of accountability for myself to eliminate cold feet. From there I continued the final writing stages and I spoke to God rather frequently regarding preparing my heart and the hearts of the readers. I wouldn’t dare try to front like there wasn’t any excitement in the mix because there was some of that too.
Even as I write there are so many memories flashing that it’s hard to decide which I should describe next. I’ll begin with the process.